i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
