He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
