This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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