just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think a kid would responsible me up
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
