Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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