just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
