nut hugger
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
