she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
