I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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