U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
