A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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