I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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