Don't make out with my wife yet
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
