I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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