You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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