Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
