Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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