i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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