i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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