She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
