There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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