Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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