Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
