I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize