she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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