Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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