He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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