I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
