maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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