no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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