I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
