I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
