so that wasnt chicken after all
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I intend to get homeless drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
