Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
