I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
