I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
