My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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