Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
