Absence makes the cock grow harder.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
