talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
