I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
