and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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