I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize