she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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