ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize