Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
