ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize