I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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