uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
