Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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