dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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