NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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