this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
