I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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