I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
