I love black thongs
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
