this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
