Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
