Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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